According to a survey, only 14% of couples sleep in separate beds every night. And while many of us might believe in the saying “couples who sleep apart grow apart” there are studies that show the opposite is actually true.
We at Bright Side believe that there are no wrong or right sleep arrangements, because to some, sleeping in different beds can be as pleasing as for others sharing a bed with their partner.
A poor night’s sleep can turn lovers into fighters.
According to research, sharing a bed with a partner that has restless sleep behavior can deprive you of 49 minutes of sleep each night. And, when one partner doesn’t get a proper night’s sleep because of the other, it will most likely result in a conflict between them the next day.
Actually, the study even confirmed that couples who tend to have a poor night’s sleep have more severe and more frequent fights than those who wake up well-rested. People who get a good night’s sleep, on the other hand, are more likely to be in a good mood, have lower stress levels, and be more patient.
Resenting your partner because you can’t get a good night’s sleep can be destructive to the relationship.
Snoring, fidgeting, and bed or blanket hogging are just a few of many reasons why some couples choose to sleep in different beds or even in different bedrooms. Lying awake listening to your partner snoring while you beat yourself up to fall asleep can lead to a build-up of anger, tension, and resentment toward your partner.
According to Jennifer Adams, author of Sleeping Apart Not Falling Apart, sleeping in a separate bedroom can even help a relationship thrive because both partners are not sleep deprived.
Each partner can tailor their sleeping conditions to their heart’s content.
Tina Cooper, a licensed social worker, sleeps in different bedrooms with her partner because of their opposite sleeping habits. “I’m a night owl, he’s an early bird. I need soothing sounds to fall asleep, and he likes silence. He likes a hard mattress, and I like soft and full of pillows. And because I don’t like the early day’s sunlight, my boyfriend gave me the master bedroom which gets less light and he has the second largest room that gets the sunrise he loves.”
How you spend the nighttime in your shared bedroom with your partner can also influence your daytime functioning, marital satisfaction, and psychological and physical health. And when 2 people with different bedtime preferences and nighttime schedules end up together, changing themselves just to please their partner’s needs might harm their relationship in the long run.
Sleeping in different bedrooms with your partner means that the 2 of you will have a place just for yourselves where you can relax after an exhausting day. This way, both of you can satisfy your needs without tiptoeing around and worrying about whether your partner might wake up because you want to watch the latest episode of your show before bed.
Even if you don’t remember waking up, disturbed sleep can have a negative impact on your overall health.
During the night, our brain cycles through the stages of sleep several times: light sleep, deep sleep, and REM (Rapid eye movement sleep). But when you interrupt the cycle by waking up during the night, it means that your brain spends more time in the light sleep stage and misses out on REM. And without sufficient REM your emotional well-being and cognitive performance suffer.
Interrupted sleep can also have short and long-term health consequences, like hypertension, weight-related issues, mental health problems, reduced quality of life, and other health-related issues.
People on Reddit share why they decided to sleep separately with their partner.
- “Because a good night’s sleep is more romantic than sharing a bed. I snore and toss and turn. He gives off literal village levels of heat in his sleep and I can’t stand the heat. I read, he can’t stand light. We keep different hours to an extent. A million reasons. We get along so much better this way.” — crankyweasels
- “My partner and I have completely separate bedrooms. We ’sleepover’ occasionally in each other’s rooms. However, we both sleep exponentially better apart. He’s a night owl and I’m an early bird. He wants only one sheet on him, I want 10 lbs of blankets. In addition, having a separate room allows me to decorate it however I want, have my own personal space, and keep it to the level of cleanliness I prefer. People look at us sideways when I mention the separate rooms thing, but it’s been a game-changer.” — eriasana
- “Different sleep cycles due to different work schedules. We are still madly in love and we both agreed to this because it’s the best for both of us.” — AFishInATank
- “Early in our relationship, 90% of our fights occurred in the bedroom. I like to sleep in a cold room with the fan on and white noise like a box fan. I also like to go to sleep with the TV on. She likes to sleep in a warm, still, cave in complete silence and darkness. We started sleeping in separate rooms and all of a sudden 90% of our fights stopped. Also, because we were getting real sleep, other fights turned more into heated discussions.” — ttc8420
What are your sleeping arrangements with your partner? Do you believe sleeping in different beds can help a relationship thrive?
Malia Obama, 25, debuted a new moniker as she began her Hollywood career
Growing up in front of the eyes of the public isn’t something Malia Obama is not familiar with. Being the daughter of the former president of the United States, Barak Obama, she has spent her life under the limelight, and even today, the media is interested in her every move.
The 25-year-old just presented her directorial debut, The Heart, at the Sundance Film Festival. In the Sundance Institute’s “Meet the Artist” spotlight video, Malia Obama revealed she was going by the name Malia Ann, thus ditching her moniker.
Malia, who was born Malia Ann Obama on July 4, 1998, has her middle name honoring her paternal grandmother, who died from ovarian cancer at the age of 52 in 1995, and now, she has dropped her last name in favor of her middle name.
Speaking of the short film for which she served as both director and screenwriter, Malia said. “This is an odd little story, somewhat of fable, about a man grieving the death of his mother after she leaves him an unusual request in her will.” Further, in the YouTube clip of the short film, she wrote, “The film is about lost objects and lonely people and forgiveness and regret, but I also think it works hard to uncover where tenderness and closeness can exist in these things.”
The Heat isn’t her first attempt into the profession. Previously, the Harvard grad worked in the writers’ room on Donald’s Amazon Prime show Swarm, co-writing the fifth episode, “Girl, Bye.”
“She’s a very professional person,” Swarm‘s co-creator Janine Nabers said Malia in a January 2023 Vanity Fair interview. “She’s an incredible writer and artist. She made significant contributions… She’s very, truly committed to her craft.”
Swarm‘s executive producer Stephen Glover also spoke of Malia. “We can’t be easy on her just because she’s the [former] President’s daughter,” he told Vanity Fair. “No, she is really down-to-earth and cool. So it’s not an issue at all.”
Malia Obama isn’t the first celebrity who made the decision to ditch their family name. Other celebs have done that before, including Nicolas Cage, who changed his last name from Coppola, and Angelina Jolie, who dropped her surname, Voight.
For her directorial debut, Malia looked cozy, with minimal makeup, her curly hair down with small braids scattered throughout.
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