Receiving a car from my stepdaughter, Emily, on my 55th birthday was the last thing I expected, especially given our rocky relationship. She handed me the keys and mentioned there was another surprise in the glove compartment. What I found inside changed everything between us.
Being a stepmom often feels like a balancing act, trying to be a parent without overstepping boundaries. For ten years, I navigated this tightrope with Emily. I met her father, David, at work, and after becoming friends, we started dating. He had lost his wife a year before we met, and his focus was on Emily, his cherished daughter. As our relationship deepened, I wondered about our future together. David expressed his love for me but worried about how Emily would react to a new stepmother.
When I married David, I knew it would be complicated. Emily was only 12 and still grieving her mother. My first meeting with her was tense; she barely spoke and quickly retreated to her room. This set the tone for our relationship. I tried my best to connect, but she remained distant, polite but always keeping me at arm’s length.
I remember putting together a surprise party for her 13th birthday, hoping it would help us bond. Although she smiled at the decorations, she still held back emotionally, creating a barrier between us. Despite the challenges, David and I were happy together. However, everything changed when David died in a car accident five years ago, leaving Emily and me to navigate our grief alone.
In that dark time, I promised to be there for Emily. But even as we became each other’s only family, I sensed that she merely tolerated me. As she grew more independent, starting a career in marketing, our interactions felt more like a formality than a genuine connection. I longed for a warm relationship, but it often felt one-sided.
Last Thanksgiving was particularly hard; Emily barely acknowledged me at a family gathering, deepening my feelings of being an outsider. So, when Emily called just before my birthday to take me out for a special dinner, I felt a flicker of hope. She picked me up in a sleek red convertible, and I thought it might finally be a sign of her acceptance.
When she handed me the keys, her voice felt distant and flat, almost like she was just fulfilling an obligation. I managed to thank her, but the dinner felt awkward and forced. It was hard to shake the feeling that the car was more of a way to alleviate her guilt than a genuine gift.
As we parked, Emily mentioned another surprise in the glove compartment. My heart raced as I opened it, revealing a stack of drawings from her childhood. My breath caught as I saw the stick-figure versions of us, with me labeled as “Mom” and captions like “Mom and Me”.
Tears filled my eyes as the realization hit: Emily had seen me as her mom all along, despite the distance between us. When I expressed my shock, she admitted she loved me but felt guilty calling me “Mom” because of her birth mother.
In that moment, the walls that had stood between us for years crumbled. We embraced tightly, tears streaming down our faces. That evening, we shared everything—our fears, doubts, and cherished moments. Finally, I felt the deep bond of a mother and daughter.
Recognize her? Better sit before you learn her true identity…
Joan van Ark was born on June 16, 1943, in New York City, New York. Her parents were not connected to the film industry.
When Joan was a teenager acting in Denver, she met actress Julie Harris, and their lives would never be the same.
Julie pushed her to go to the highly regarded Yale Drama School and gain admission using a scholarship she had also set up.
This made Joan Van Ark the second-ever woman to enroll at the Drama School
She [Harris] wrote to the dean and asked him to meet me. “Long story short, my parents drove me to New Haven, Connecticut, to meet the dean, who gave me a scholarship,” Joan recalled.” It was meant to be.” Joan went on to perform in the theatre for a few years, but her real passion was in Television.
Temperature’s Rising, Spider-Woman, and Days of Our Lives
Joan achieved enormous renown as a result of her roles in Temperature’s Rising, Spider-Woman, Days of Our Lives, and even one Bonanza episode. But her role as Valene Ewing on Dallas in 1978 was where she first achieved great popularity. She ended up playing the most important role she has ever had.
Because of how popular the show was, Joan appeared on its spin-off, Knots Landing. a program that was actually written prior to Dallas. Dallas was initially chosen by the producers because it was the best option for portraying affluent households at the time. Joan was then forced to play the same part in Dallas instead of joining the Knots Landing cast.
13 Seasons of Knots Landing ensued for Joan Van Ark
The person who actually convinced Joan to accept the part while already working on two other projects was her husband, renowned newscaster John Marshall. There was a moment when Val Ewing’s mother was scheduled to make her television debut. Surprise, surprise—Julie Harris was chosen for the position. The person who mattered the most to her in all the world was this.
“When the producers told me they had finally last someone to play my mother, I held my breath,” she recalled in a 1984 interview with Florida Today. “I thought, ‘Oh my God, are they going to say Phyllis Diller or Zsa Zsa Gabor, or who?’ Then they said it was Julie Harris, and I went right through the roof. I couldn’t believe they had picked her to be my mother. They didn’t even know we were friends.”
327 Episodes later, Joan Van Ark was ready for new ventures
13 Seasons and 327 episodes later, Joan left a season before the show saw its final season air. She knew many blamed her leaving on the cancellation of the show, but she was ready for new adventures. “I have loved more than life the 13 years I’ve had on that show,” she said. “[Knots Landing creator] David Jacobs is a great influence on my life, has taught me so much about so many things.”
“Ted [Shackelford] is the other half of every breath I take on the show, and personally, he’s a large part of my heart. The people are my family–we have shared marriages, deaths, and divorces. It’s far more difficult to leave than I thought.” Joan thereafter appeared on The Young and The Restless as Gloria Fisher.
In high school, John Marshall first met Joan, and the two quickly got married. They have a lovely daughter named Vanessa Marshall who works in the entertainment industry at the moment. After 56 years of marriage, the pair is still very much in love and leads extremely private lives away from the spotlight.
78 years old with a net worth of $10 million
At 78 years old, Joan has amassed a $10 million net worth and is still as gorgeous as ever when seen out and about in Los Angeles. She was last seen three years ago and was just seen paying for parking at a meter while wearing workout clothes and a ponytail.
She co-starred in the 2017 television film Psycho Wedding Crasher, which was her most recent and final appearance on screen.
Joan Van Ark, who has worked in the film industry for the past 50 years, has joined The Actor’s Studio as a life member. What an icon!
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