My mother did everything in her power to prevent me from seeing my father after they divorced. But once my dad tricked me on the phone, and everything changed.
“I don’t want to see you ever again!” my mom yelled as my father got into the car and left our home forever. That was my earliest memory. Dad left when I was two years old after a huge fight with my mother.
They got divorced, and I didn’t see him for many years. As I got older, I realized that my mother was preventing me from seeing my father. “I want to visit Dad. Please!” I begged when I was ten years old.
“No! You can’t go see him. He’s busy with his new family and doesn’t want to see you,” she replied.
“I know that’s not true! You’re lying to me! I talk to him on the phone, and he wants to see me!” I cried, pleading with her to see my father.
“Don’t talk back to me, Alexandra! Your father left us and doesn’t deserve to have a relationship with you now,” Mom said. I thought that was unfair, but I was still just a child.
My dad and I kept in constant contact over the phone, but I really wanted to spend time with him, and I knew he wanted the same. However, Mom was an expert at getting her way.
As a teenager, I decided to go on my own to see him, and she called the cops on me. They picked me up before I could reach his house and drove me back home.
“The next time you try to disobey me, I will say that your father kidnapped you, and he will go to jail where he belongs!” she screamed at me when the cops left.
Back then, I thought she was doing the right thing for me, but as I grew up, I realized that it was pure selfishness on her part. I didn’t want to hang out with her or do anything. I also started rebelling at school. She drove a huge wedge between us, and I didn’t care anymore.
“Alexandra, do you want to go shopping with me?” she asked me one day. I was 17 years old and had grown to almost hate her.
“Nope,” I answered.
“How about the movies?”
“Nope.”
“Why don’t you want to do anything with me?” she whined.
“Really? You’re asking me that question? You know exactly why I treat you this way,” I said in a bored tone.
“I have done nothing to you! All the sacrifices I have made for you, and you’re so ungrateful!” Mom yelled once more.
“Yeah, ok. Close the door, please,” I added.
By then, I was immune to her tantrums and how she victimized herself to get away with things. I moved out as soon as I turned 18 and never looked back.
But seeing my dad wasn’t any easier. I had to work two jobs and go to school. He was also busy with work, and his second wife had just delivered twins by then. Neither of us had time, so we put it off.
I met with him on a Saturday afternoon at his house and met his wife. They showed me the twins, and we talked for a while. But it felt so awkward that I didn’t want to do it again. Maybe my mother had ruined any chance I had at a relationship with him.
We talked on the phone for a long time once a week. I asked about the twins and told him about my life. It wasn’t ideal, but it worked for us. Years went by this way. I didn’t hear of my mother until I was 29 years old.
“Hey, Alexandra,” she spoke on the phone tentatively.
“Oh, hey, Mom,” I answered, confused with her call.
“We haven’t talked in a long time. How are you?” she asked.
“I’m fine. How about you?” I replied. We chitchatted awkwardly for a few minutes, and then she got to the point.
“Listen, honey. I was hoping that we could work on mending our relationship. How does that sound?” Mom wondered.
“I don’t know. Are you going to apologize for everything?” I retorted.
“I…I still don’t think I did anything wrong. I was trying to protect you from being hurt like I was when you were little. But I understand that you felt differently,” she explained.
“So, you’re not apologizing?” I continued, tired of this conversation. She was never going to acknowledge her wrongs, and I had no time for that.
“Alexandra! I’m your mother. You haven’t talked to me in years! You’re so selfish!” she wailed, raising her voice.
“Ok, goodbye,” I said and hung up the phone. She tried calling me back, but I ignored her. I would not let her back into my life until she apologized.
Another year went by, and I received a strange call from my dad. He never called during working hours. “Alexandra! This is an emergency! Can you come to see me?” Dad said urgently through the phone.
“What? Dad? What’s going on?” I asked, worried.
“I sent you an address. Come quickly! This is a matter of life or death!” he told me and hung up.
I went to my boss, took a day off work, and ran to my car. But the address Dad gave me took me right to an amusement park close to his house.
“Hey, honey!” he smiled when I met him at the front gate.
“Dad! Why are we here? What’s the emergency?” I asked, confused.
“The emergency is that you and I never got to do all the fun things father and daughters do over the years. We have put off building a real relationship, and I don’t want to waste any more time. Let’s go have fun!” Dad explained.
“Can you go on the rides? I know you have had some health problems lately,” I said hesitantly.
“I’m fit as a fiddle. Come on!” he urged.
We spent the entire day at the park and talked about everything. I felt like a child for the first time in my life, and it was wonderful.
I also told him about my problems with Mom and how hard it was when she didn’t let me see him. “Your mother is complicated and full of pride. But she’s not evil. We didn’t work out, and she couldn’t take it,” he started.
“Yeah, I wished I could’ve lived with you,” I told him.
“Well, I was pretty lost for many years trying to figure things out. We might have hated each other. But here we are, and I think you should patch things up with her. Life is too short to hold grudges,” he said.
After that marvelous day at the park, we went to dinner. When I got home, I called Mom and told her everything I felt regarding my dad. How she hurt me back then by not letting me spend time with him and how fun our day had been. She cried and apologized to me for the first time. I felt like she understood, and we started talking more often.
Meanwhile, I grew closer to my dad and loved babysitting my twin half-siblings. We even took them to the amusement park for a fun day too.
I finally had the childhood I always wanted.
What can we learn from this story?
Divorce happens between couples, not with children. Alexandra’s mother didn’t understand that her father divorced her but wanted a relationship with their daughter.
Life is too short for grudges. Alexandra’s father is right. Sometimes, it’s better to forgive for your own sake. Let go of things that make you angry, and your mental health will improve.
Share this story with your friends. It might brighten their day and inspire them.
Kelly Clarkson Admits To ‘Not Being Above Spanking’ Her Children If They Disobey Her
The happy mother of River Rose, 8, and Remy, 6, Kelly Clarkson, spoke candidly about her thoughts on spanking as a form of child discipline in a radio interview. The topic of parenting styles has been increasingly controversial in recent times due to their diversity and growth.
Being a well-known figure in the entertainment industry, Clarkson recently received recognition for her work with a star on the prestigious Hollywood Walk of Fame. She hasn’t held back when discussing her choice to add slapping to her repertoire of parenting techniques.
She constantly offered evidence to back up her beliefs, pointing to her upbringing and cultural influences.
Support and skepticism have been generated by Clarkson’s statement that she is “not above spanking” her kids in a culture where parenting ideologies are as varied as they are fervent.
“I don’t mean striking her,” she clarified, clarifying that her goal is to employ physical punishment in a regulated way rather than to harm someone. She went on, “I just mean a little spanking.”
However, there are many who disagree with spanking. A reputable organization for child health, the American Academy of Pediatrics, has categorically stated that spanking is counterproductive and may even be detrimental to a child’s health.
Parents continue to choose the conventional method of punishment, despite the fact that the organization’s stance is supported by extensive research and professional consensus.
Kelly Clarkson’s upbringing in the culturally diverse and diversified state of Texas is the reason behind her support for spanking. “We get spankings because I’m from the South, y’all,” she said, highlighting the regional and cultural impacts on her views.
“My parents spanked me, I did fine in life, and I feel fine about it,” she said candidly about her upbringing. She feels that this tactic helped to develop her well-rounded personality and that it was effective in imparting values and character.
However, when examining and critiquing her parenting style, Clarkson recognizes the challenges of reprimanding her kids in public. “It’s challenging to do that in public because people might think it’s inappropriate,” she clarified.
She is adamant that spanking is a valid form of discipline, even in the face of potential criticism. She said, “I believe in spanking, so you might see me spanking my kid at the zoo.”
A warning component is incorporated into Clarkson’s approach to strike a balance between communication and discipline. “Hello, if you don’t stop right now, I’m going to spank you on your bottom,” I said. She said, “This is ridiculous,” emphasizing the significance of candid communication throughout the procedure.
She says that the frequency of undesirable behavior has decreased as a result of this strategy.
The debate surrounding Kelly Clarkson’s method of child discipline is a reflection of broader conversations around human autonomy and different parenting styles. While some could concur with her, others might advocate for different approaches that emphasize non-physical tactics.
Respecting parental choices while taking into account the development and well-being of their children is essential in a community that values candid communication and experience sharing.
Essentially, Kelly Clarkson’s candid admission of her views on spanking has led to a complex discussion that represents the diversity of contemporary parenting ideologies.
Our views on what makes for good parenting change along with society, and different points of view have a place in this lively dialogue to coexist and add to our collective parenting knowledge.
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