While celebrating a new life and transitioning into a new role, a mother found herself struggling to get a moment alone after she welcomed her daughter. A time that was meant to be exciting for her and her husband led to them having a big fight over their parenting roles.
In the whirlwind of joy and exhaustion in the early days of parenthood, a mother found herself longing for a mere moment of quietness and alone time. She took to Reddit to share her frustrations. She started off by explaining that she had only had her child for two weeks. Her daughter was strictly breastfeeding, but in addition to cluster feeding, she realized her daughter found comfort in being close to her.
A mother holding her new born | Source: Shutterstock
This meant that her new role allowed her little to no time alone. “I’ve showered once by myself since having her, and it only lasted long enough for me to soap up before she was crying and my husband was bringing her into the bathroom with me. I think I literally had all of 2-3 minutes,” she wrote.
On the contrary, she noticed her husband’s life had not changed. He still got to have long and uninterrupted showers every day but never understood why his showers frustrated his wife.
Each time she was in the shower, and the baby would cry, her husband would bring their newborn to her to calm her down. It made her angry that he did not even try to calm the baby down on his own, but his excuse was that the child loved showers, and seeing her cry hurt him deeply.
A mother with her baby | Source: Shutterstock
As sweet as his fears sounded, the Redditor still needed to find a way to get a full self-care routine without a baby being handed over to her. So, she decided to call in help. She asked her mother to watch her daughter as she showered. Her husband was not there when she reached out to her child’s grandmother, but when he arrived, he asked what his mother-in-law was doing at their house.
Surprisingly, he was angry at his wife’s decision to call her mother just to take a shower. “I could have watched her. Why would you do that?” he asked, to which the Redditor responded, “Every time you watch her while I shower, she ends up in here with me within 2 minutes of me being in here because you don’t even try to calm her down.”
A mother with her baby | Source: Shutterstock
Therefore, after five days of trying to shave her legs, she could not wait to enjoy the warm water hitting her body and relaxing her muscles. “I need to self-care,” the Redditor emphasized.
The original poster’s honest account of her experience as a new mother erupted in a chorus of voices from commenters sharing their own experiences and offering support. One commenter challenged the husband’s logic and suggested, “If, according to hubby, showers calm her down, why isn’t he taking her on his 30-60 minute showers?”
A mother looking stressed with her child | Source: Shutterstock
Another suggestion was for the OP to lock the door as a temporary solution and to teach her husband a lesson on respecting someone’s privacy. Another Reddit user said the husband made himself look bad in front of his mother-in-law, but it was time he realized that he could also parent his daughter without always running to his wife.
The discussion took a deeper dive into the dynamics of communication and support within the relationship. Commenters pointed out the absurdity that the husband had been more concerned about his wife calling her mother rather than making sure that his wife’s well-being was attended to. “You found a way around it. And now, even knowing how hard it’s been for you, he’s still not actually concerned about you; he’s just worried about how it looks to your mum,” remarked a commenter.
A man sitting next to a crib looking stressed | Source: Shutterstock
One mother said her husband once interrupted her hair appointment but she had a serious conversation with him and made him look back at the number of haircuts he had had since their baby arrived. She told him never to interrupt her alone time unless it was an emergency, so the commenter advised the OP to have the same stern conversation with her husband.
A couple fighting | Source: Shutterstock
Another commenter shared a personal story of how her husband had slacked at the beginning of their parenting journey and how she eventually found a way to work as a team. The mother said her baby was a bit fussy on the first night home and she would always take the lead and calm her down.
But after three days, she put on earplugs and requested her husband only wake her up when the baby needed a feed and let her partner take care of the baby during the night, which led to a more equitable parenting dynamic.
The commenter added that allocating responsibilities helped them both understand the difficulty and joy of caring for a newborn, but it also allowed them to foster empathy and understanding. “That night, my partner became an equal parent,” the commenter added.
Here is a story about a newborn who cried nonstop no matter what the parents did. But they eventually realized the answer to their child’s misery was in the crib.
I Took My Boyfriend to Meet My Parents — When My Father Saw Him He Immediately Called the Cops
I had been waiting for this moment for several months. Lewis took the day off to meet my parents. We had been officially dating for three months, but he kept telling me he was too busy with work to meet them. As it turned out, that was all a lie, and he wasn’t working as a mechanic.
When we entered the house and my parents first saw Lewis, I noticed my dad’s expression drastically change. I wasn’t prepared for what happened next.My dad, always the gracious host, invited Lewis to take a tour of the house, starting with the basement. I watched them walk down the stairs, thinking my dad was just trying to make Lewis feel welcome. But as soon as Lewis stepped inside, my father immediately slammed the door, locked it, and started calling the police.“He’s not really Lewis,” my dad shouted into the phone, “he’s actually an escaped convict named Jack Riley!”I was in shock. “Dad, what are you talking about?”My father, his voice stern and filled with authority, looked at me with a mixture of concern and anger. “Emma, I recognized him the moment I saw him. I never forget a face. Years ago, when I was still in the force, Jack Riley was one of the most wanted men. He was convicted of fraud, theft, and numerous other crimes. He escaped from prison and has been on the run ever since.”My mind was racing. I thought back to all the moments with Lewis—his mysterious absence from work, his reluctance to meet my family, the way he always seemed to avoid talking about his past. It all started to make sense.As we waited for the police to arrive, I could hear Lewis—or Jack—banging on the basement door, shouting for me to let him out. “Emma, please, this is a mistake! Your father is wrong!”But the look on my dad’s face told me otherwise. He had never been wrong about something like this before.The police arrived quickly, and within minutes, they had Lewis in handcuffs. One of the officers confirmed my father’s story. “We’ve been looking for Jack Riley for years. Good catch, sir.”I stood there, numb, as they took Lewis away. The man I thought I loved, the man I had trusted, was a criminal. My heart ached with betrayal and confusion.As the police car drove off, my dad put his arm around me. “I’m sorry you had to go through this, Emma. But it’s better you found out now rather than later.”In the days that followed, the reality of the situation sank in. I learned more about Jack’s criminal past and felt grateful for my father’s vigilance and quick thinking. It was a harsh lesson about trust and the importance of truly knowing the people we let into our lives.Ultimately, I realized how lucky I was to have a father who cared so deeply about my well-being. The experience brought us closer, and I knew I could always rely on him to protect me, no matter what.As I moved on from the shock and heartache, I took comfort in knowing that my father had saved me from a much worse fate. It was a painful but valuable lesson in love and trust.
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