Eight years of marriage shattered in one quick breath when my husband Mike brought home his pregnant sidekick and KICKED ME OUT of the house. I packed alright, but what I unpacked was a revenge plot so brilliant and karmic!
Portrait of a sad young woman | Source: Midjourney
It was a Tuesday evening when my life decided to go off the rails. I walked into our living room, tired from a long day at work, only to find a heavily pregnant woman sitting on our couch, eating chips.
At first, I thought maybe I’d accidentally wandered into the wrong house.
But no, there was our ugly floral wallpaper that Mike insisted on keeping, and there was Mike, looking like he’d just swallowed a porcupine.
A pregnant woman sitting on the couch | Source: Midjourney
“Hey, Michelle,” he said, his voice as casual as if he was asking me to pass the salt. “We need to talk.”
I stood there, frozen, my brain trying to compute the scene before me. The pregnant woman smiled awkwardly, her hand on her belly, looking like she was auditioning for a soap opera.
“This is Jessica,” Mike continued, gesturing to the human incubator on our couch. “She’s pregnant. With my child. It… it just happened. And we’ve decided to be together.”
A woman gaping in shock | Source: Midjourney
I waited for the punchline. Surely, this was some elaborate prank for a new reality TV show. Maybe I’d win a car if I didn’t freak out?
But Mike’s face remained serious, and Jessica kept smiling that infuriating smile.
“Mike,” I said slowly, “what do you mean by ‘it just happened’? Did you trip and fall into her—?”
Mike had the audacity to look offended. “Enough, Michelle! This is serious. I think it’s best if you move out. You can go stay with your mom. Jess and I’ll take over the house.”
A serious-looking man sitting on the couch | Source: Midjourney
I blinked. Once. Twice. Three times. Nope, still not a dream.
I was half-expecting Ashton Kutcher to jump out and tell me I’d been Punk’d. But alas, no Ashton. Just my cheating husband and his very pregnant sidekick.
“Alright,” I calmly said. “I’ll pack my things and leave.”
Mike looked relieved, probably thinking he’d gotten off easy. Jessica’s smile grew wider, like she’d just won the lottery. Little did they know, the lottery was about to hit them back, and hit them hard.
A heartbroken woman at the doorway | Source: Midjourney
I went upstairs, packed a suitcase with some essentials, and left without another word.
As I drove to my mom’s house, the shock wore off, and rage took its place. But this wasn’t just any rage. This was the kind of rage that makes you want to do something spectacularly stupid and incredibly satisfying.
The next day, I set my plan in motion.
First stop: the bank. I marched in there like a woman on a mission, which I was. I froze our joint account faster than you can say “cheating jerk.”
The look on the bank manager’s face when I explained why was priceless. I’m pretty sure he was mentally taking notes for his next novel.
A woman outside a bank | Source: Midjourney
Next, I visited a locksmith.
I remembered overhearing Mike tell Jessica they’d be gone for three days, giving me plenty of time to execute my master plan. It was like the universe was conspiring in my favor, and who was I to argue with destiny?
My next stop: my house. The same cozy house Mike and I once lived together, planning a future that was now a total trainwreck.
The puzzled locksmith probably thought I was crazy, cackling as I had him change all the locks on the house. I may have gone a bit overboard and asked for the most complicated, high-tech locks available. Hey, if I was going to do this, I was going to do it right. And big.
A locksmith fixing a door lock | Source: Midjourney
Then came the movers.
I gave them the spare keys and scheduled them to pack up everything I owned, which was basically everything in the house. I even took the toilet paper. Let’s see how Mike and Jessica enjoy using leaves!
But the piece de resistance? Oh, that was yet to come. I had a brilliant idea that would make this revenge not just sweet, but long-lasting.
Toilet paper rolls in a basket | Source: Midjourney
I sent out party invitations. Lots of them. To Mike’s family, our friends, his coworkers, even that nosy neighbor who always complained about our late dog.
The invitation read: “Come celebrate Mike’s new life! Surprise party at our house, tomorrow at 7 p.m.!”
A party invitation | Source: Midjourney
Then, I commissioned a billboard. Yes, a billboard. A huge one. It was delivered and set up on our front lawn, impossible to miss.
In giant, bold letters, it proclaimed: “Congratulations on Dumping Me for Your Pregnant Mistress, Mike! Hope the Baby Doesn’t Inherit Your Infidelity!”
I stepped back to admire my handiwork, feeling like a mischievous fairy godmother who’d just granted the world’s most ironic wish. With a satisfied smirk and a dramatic hair flip, I sashayed away from the scene, eagerly anticipating the chaos that was about to unfold.
A billboard outside a house | Source: Midjourney
The next evening, right on cue, my phone rang. It was Mike, and he sounded like he was having an aneurysm.
“Michelle!” he screeched, his voice hitting octaves I didn’t know he could reach. “What the hell is going on? Why are there people at our house? And what’s with this insane billboard?”
“Oh, that?” I said, trying to sound innocent. “Just a little housewarming party for you and Jessica. Don’t you like the decorations?”
“Decorations? It’s a freaking circus out here! And why can’t I get into the house?”
A startled man talking on the phone | Source: Midjourney
I couldn’t help but giggle. “Well, honey, you told me to move out, remember? You never said anything about you staying there. I just remembered that the house is solely under my name. So, I changed the locks. Oopsie!”
There was a long silence on the other end. I could almost hear the gears in his tiny brain trying to process what was happening.
“Where are we supposed to go?” he finally sputtered.
“Gee, I don’t know, Mike. Maybe Jessica’s mom would love to have you? I hear pregnancy hormones and in-laws mix really well.”
A smiling woman talking on the phone | Source: Midjourney
I hung up, feeling lighter than I had in years. But wait, there was more!
In the days that followed, I had the utilities cut off, canceled the cable, and made sure all our joint assets were transferred into my name. I listed the house for sale, making sure to mention in the listing that it came with a “bonus front lawn art installation.”
I had Mike served with divorce papers at work. I specifically requested the mailman to dress up as a pregnant woman. Just for funsies.
But the universe wasn’t done with Mike yet. Oh no, it had saved the best for last.
A man gaping in shock as he holds some papers | Source: Midjourney
A week later, I got a call from Jessica. Yes, that Jessica. She was crying so hard I could barely understand her.
“Michelle,” she sobbed, “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know… I mean, Mike told me you two were separated. And now… now he’s broke and homeless, and I’m pregnant, and I don’t know what to do!”
I almost felt bad for her. Almost.
“Well, Jessica,” I said, trying to keep the glee out of my voice, “I hear the circus is always looking for new acts. Maybe you two could start a juggling duo? You juggle the baby, he juggles his lies?”
She didn’t appreciate my humor. Tsk! Tsk!
Silhouette of a pregnant woman holding a smartphone | Source: Midjourney
As it turns out, when Jessica found out that Mike was now homeless, broke, and the laughingstock of the town, she decided that maybe being with a guy who had no money, no house, and no future wasn’t such a great idea after all.
She dumped him faster than you can say “Karma’s a b****!”
Last I heard, Mike was living in a tiny apartment, trying to scrape together enough money to pay bills and feed his hungry belly. His family had cut him off, disgusted by his behavior.
They even sent me a fruit basket and a sorry card. I ate the fruits while soaking in my new jacuzzi.
As for me? Well, the house sold for a nice profit. I moved to a beautiful new place, started my own business, and adopted a cat. I named him Karma.
A woman with her pet cat | Source: Midjourney
So yeah, my revenge might have been a bit over the top. But let’s be real, bringing home a pregnant mistress and trying to kick me out of my own house? That’s not just crossing a line, that’s pole-vaulting over it and then setting the pole on fire.
In the end, I learned a valuable lesson: When life gives you lemons, don’t just make lemonade. Squeeze those lemons into the eyes of those who wronged you, and then sit back and watch them stumble around blindly. It’s much more satisfying.
And remember, folks: cheaters never prosper, but the cheated-on with a good sense of humor and a flair for the dramatic? Oh, we do just fine!
A cheerful woman smiling | Source: Midjourney
This work is inspired by real events and people, but it has been fictionalized for creative purposes. Names, characters, and details have been changed to protect privacy and enhance the narrative. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.
The author and publisher make no claims to the accuracy of events or the portrayal of characters and are not liable for any misinterpretation. This story is provided “as is,” and any opinions expressed are those of the characters and do not reflect the views of the author or publisher.
On Our Anniversary, My Husband Presented Me with a Bill Summarizing How Much I ‘Cost’ Him Over the Years – He Insisted I Repay the Amount
Five years ago, Ava stood at the altar, ready to start a new life with the man she loved. But tonight, her dreams lay shattered on the kitchen table. They were replaced by a cruel reality: a spreadsheet calculating the “cost” of her love.
“There’s something important I need to talk about,” my husband, Daniel, said, his voice unusually strained. At that point, my excitement for our fancy anniversary dinner sizzled out faster than a forgotten birthday candle.
We had reservations at 8 p.m., and all afternoon I’d been looking for the perfect outfit for our little Ben, while also folding mountains of laundry and reheating last night’s dinner.
Being a full-time stay-at-home mother wasn’t easy, especially when I had to look after my one-year-old son.
I met Daniel at the bustling investment firm where I used to work. My brain, sharp as a tack, thrived in the fast-paced world of finance.
Numbers danced in my head like a well-rehearsed ballet.
But then, the doctor’s words shattered our dreams like a dropped crystal vase.
“Infertility,” he said. “There might be some complications with conceiving naturally.”
Later that night, curled up on the couch with takeout boxes scattered around us, we talked. “Maybe it’s not meant to be,” I whispered as tears rolled down my cheeks.
Daniel cupped my face, his thumb wiping away a stray tear. “Ava,” he said. “If anything, this makes me want you more. We’ll figure this out, together. Maybe adoption…”
The seed of hope he planted took root in my heart.
That night, we made a pact to face whatever challenges came our way, as long as we faced them together.
Marriage wasn’t just about having a family, it was about building a life with the person who made you feel whole, even when pieces seemed missing.
A few months later, standing at the altar, tears welled up in my eyes again, this time a mixture of joy and relief. “I do,” I whispered.
As he kissed me that day, I felt lucky to have him by my side.
Soon, fertility treatments became our new normal. One evening, after a particularly grueling round of tests, I found Daniel staring out the window. He looked defeated.
“Maybe it’s time I resign,” I offered. My career, once a source of immense pride, felt insignificant compared to the yearning in my heart.
Daniel turned around. “Are you sure? You love your job.”
“There’s something more important,” I said, taking his hand. “You. Us. Building our family and looking after this house. I think I need to be at home more than anywhere else.”
With a hesitant nod, Daniel agreed.
Soon after I resigned, a new chapter of my life unfolded.
It was filled with doctor visits, support groups, and the quiet ache of longing. But through it all, Daniel was my rock.
Finally, after lots of medicine and appointments, Ben arrived. We were so emotional when we first looked at our tiny miracle wrapped in a blanket.
Our little family, messy and perfect all at once, became my whole world.
Last Monday was our fifth anniversary. I couldn’t believe it had been five years since we tied the knot. Time flies, doesn’t it?
The last five years felt like five decades of laughter, late-night talks, and shoulder-to-shoulder battles through life’s storms.
Looking back, a warm wave of gratitude washed over me for having Daniel by my side.
Excitement bubbled as I envisioned a romantic dinner, a night to celebrate this milestone. I couldn’t wait to see the surprise in Daniel’s eyes when I revealed the reservation I’d snagged at that fancy Italian place we always talked about.
Grabbing my phone, I dialed his number. “Hey, honey! Guess what?” I chirped.
“Hey,” he answered. “What’s up?”
“Just thinking about tonight! Where are we planning to go? Do you have anything special planned?”
A beat of silence followed, then, “Ava, there’s no need to go anywhere fancy. We’re not doing anything special tonight. No presents either.”
“Oh,” I managed, the disappointment clinging to me like a damp sweater.
“Just wait at home, okay? I’ll be there soon. We need to talk.”
Then, the line went dead, leaving me staring at the phone. What could be so important to ruin our anniversary night? Why was Daniel acting like that?
I was sitting in the living room, watching Ben play with his toy cars when the front door creaked open. Daniel walked in. His shoulders were slumped and he didn’t look like the confident man who returned home from work every day.
“Hey,” I greeted. “Rough day?”
“Yeah, something like that,” he mumbled.
A knot of worry tightened in my stomach. Daniel rarely brought work stress home, and his silence was deafening.
“What’s going on?” I asked.
“Just… come here,” he said, heading towards the kitchen.
I followed him, and he pulled out a chair for me after reaching the kitchen table.
“Sit,” he said.
“Is everything alright?” I asked, my voice tinged with worry.
“Not really,” Daniel replied coldly.
Then, he shuffled some papers on the table.
“What is it, Daniel?”
“There’s something important I need to talk about,” he said, his gaze meeting mine. “I’ve thought a lot about this and I finally decided to discuss it with you.”
I felt a shiver crawl down my spine. Something important? What could it be?
“Look at these,” he pushed the papers across the table towards me.
Curious, I quickly picked up the document and scanned it. The papers were filled with numbers and columns. I could tell it was a budget breakdown.
“What am I supposed to be looking at?”
“I’ll explain,” Daniel said.
He took a deep breath before dropping the bomb that turned my life upside down.
“I took some time to calculate how much you have cost me over the years together, and this is devastating,” he began. “By now, with this money, I could have bought a house or a private jet. But all I have is a wife sitting at home and living off me. I need you to pay it back to me before I start resenting you for all of my wasted potential.”
His words hit me like a physical blow. I was speechless.
After all the years I’d dedicated to their family, after all the sacrifices I’d made, he had the audacity to accuse me of wasting his potential. How could he do this to me?
This was so much more than a bad anniversary present; it was heartbreaking.
“Okay,” I managed to say. “I will pay you back, but only if you give me some time to figure out how.”
“Sure,” he said as he rose from his seat and turned around. “I can wait. I’m glad you understood what I wanted to say.”
“I understood more than you think,” I looked into his eyes. “But you better believe, this conversation isn’t over.”
Not only did Daniel waste the anniversary dinner reservation that evening, but he also broke my heart into a million pieces.
Looking at those papers, it was clear he’d calculated every penny he’d spent on me, including the groceries I’d bought to feed our family. I couldn’t believe the audacity of the man I’d married.
The final number scrawled at the bottom nearly took my breath away. $300,000.
That was supposedly the cost of my life with him over the past four years, after I’d given up my own career to raise Ben and manage our household.
Seeing those numbers on the document fueled a fire in my gut. He was going to learn a very expensive lesson.
Over the next few days, a simmering rage kept me company. While Daniel seemed oblivious and went about his routine as if nothing had happened, I spent my nights meticulously documenting the value of everything I’d contributed to our marriage.
The cooking, the cleaning, the emotional support… it all went on a spreadsheet. I even included the salary I’d sacrificed by choosing to be his stay-at-home wife.
The once lively atmosphere of our house had been choked by a thick silence. Daniel would try to make conversation, but my responses were clipped and short.
Suddenly, the man sleeping next to me at night felt like a stranger. How could I have given so much of myself to someone who saw me as a financial burden? I felt so disgusted with each passing hour.
Four days later, I faced him across the kitchen table again. However, this time I had a file clutched in my hand. My heart pounded in my chest as I placed it in front of him.
“What’s this?” he asked.
“Your bill.”
He opened the folder, his eyes widening as he scanned the document. The total amount was scrawled at the bottom in bold. It was $500,000.
“This can’t be right,” he stammered, his voice laced with panic. “There’s no way…”
“There you go,” I interrupted. “Seems my contributions to this marriage were worth a bit more than groceries and rent, wouldn’t you say?”
He sputtered, speechless for once. The color drained from his face, leaving him pale and shaken.
“Ava, I… I never meant for things to get this way. I was just stressed, and…”
“Don’t,” I cut him off. “Respect and understanding are the pillars of any marriage, Daniel. And right now, all I see are cracks in the foundation.”
This wasn’t just about money anymore; it was about the very essence of our relationship. And as much as it pained me, I knew the truth. I knew I couldn’t stay with him anymore.
“I’ve already talked to my lawyer,” I continued, my voice firm. “We’re done, Daniel. We’re done.”
This whole ordeal taught me one thing loud and clear: my worth is more than a number on a spreadsheet, and I deserve to be with someone who sees that. What do you think?
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