Social media has a way of creeping into your life, becoming a part of your relationships, whether you like it or not. It’s harmless for the most part — cute pictures and updates for friends and family. But sometimes, things take a turn you never see coming.
Mark and I had been together for almost a year. Honestly, he was the perfect boyfriend. Sweet, caring, and always making me laugh, whether we were out hiking or just watching TV on a lazy Sunday. I felt so lucky to have him in my life. So, I figured it was time to make things official on Facebook.
We were on a hiking trail one afternoon when we snapped a picture together. It was cute — us smiling with the sun shining behind us. “Just me and my favorite person on our latest adventure!” I captioned it, adding a couple of heart emojis. I shared the post, excited to share a bit of our happiness with the world.
Then, ten minutes later, I got a notification that made my stomach drop. It wasn’t a like or a comment. It was a message: “YOU MUST RUN FROM HIM. NOW.”
I stared at my phone, my heart pounding. Who would send something like that? I clicked on the profile, hoping for some clue, but there was nothing — no info, no pictures, just a blank, empty page. The message itself was terrifying enough, but this? It was like a ghost had sent it.
I glanced at Mark, who was busy tossing our backpacks into the car, completely unaware of the storm building inside me. Should I tell him?
My mind raced, but before I could even process what was happening, another message popped up: “Don’t tell Mark anything. Listen carefully. Smile, don’t be aggressive with him. You don’t know what he’s capable of. You got it?”
I could feel the blood drain from my face. What was this? Who was sending these messages? And why were they so certain I was in danger?
“I’m meeting my mom for lunch tomorrow,” I said casually over breakfast, trying not to let my voice tremble.
Mark didn’t look up from his coffee right away. “Really? You didn’t mention it before.”
“Oh, yeah,” I replied quickly, my heart racing. “She called last night. Last minute thing.”
Mark finally met my eyes, his expression unreadable. “Alright,” he said slowly.
I tried to focus on my coffee, but all I could feel was the weight of his gaze as if he was trying to see straight through me.
The next day, I left the house. As I slipped out the door, I could feel Mark’s eyes on me. I tried to act normal, but my stomach was in knots. Every time I looked back at him, there was that same unreadable look on his face. Was he suspicious? Did he know something was wrong?
Elliot Page reveals how he responds to people who misgender him
The actor revealed his gender identity on Instagram in 2020 with a poignant statement, and he has since talked about his experiences since changing.
Elliott Page talked about his response to individuals inadvertently misgendering him.
Following his transgender announcement in 2020, Page has been transparent about his journey through transition, including the touchy subject of misgender identity.
The celebrity has been outspoken about his transition, sharing on social media images of his top surgery scars and regularly bringing attention to the difficulties faced by transgender persons.
Though Page said that occasionally it can become more unpleasant when someone overreacts to their own honest error, being inadvertently misgendering oneself can be a challenging moment for a trans or non-binary person.
He stated, “In those situations, I know the intent of people close to me in my life who are wanting to get it right,” in an interview with Variety in 2023. I don’t get offended if someone misgenders me.”
“It’s wonderful when someone goes to apologize,” he continued. However, let’s go on to the following phase of our conversation.Let’s move on before this becomes more complicated, concerning the misgendering perpetrator, and involves a different kind of energy.”
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Regarding the best ways for individuals to assist their trans friends, family members, or coworkers, Page emphasized that awareness and empathy are key.
There are numerous resources available to learn more about transgender persons and the realities of our experiences, he stated. Questions aren’t always bad, but there are situations, locations, contexts, and tones in which they should be asked.
In the end, Page’s remarks demonstrate that if being mistakenly misgender was the largest issue trans people faced, the world would be a lot better place.
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Transgender individuals are particularly susceptible to mental health issues, homelessness, and employment difficulties.
Additionally, for some trans individuals, intersectional variables like racism, disability, and class make this worse.
Some health organizations, including the UK’s, have guidelines that imply people should consider transitioning as a means of easing the symptoms of mental health issues like depression.
Consequently, rather of offering care that is gender affirming, they could attempt to “treat” this.
Remorse for gender affirming surgeries is among the lowest of all surgical procedures, much lower than those of common operations like hip replacements.
Transgender individuals who receive care that is gender affirming report significant improvements in their mental health, despite the discrimination and risk that comes with transitioning.
The lesson here is to simply apologize and move on if you inadvertently misidentify a transgender or non-binary individual. Most likely, they are more concerned with other matters.
If you’ve been affected by any of these issues and want to speak to someone in confidence, contact the LGBT national hotline at 888-843-4564, available Monday to Friday 4pm-12am ET and 12pm-5pm ET on Saturdays.
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