When Cassie returns from a getaway with her husband and son, she walks into her home to see a cryptic message from her mother — telling her to watch a video. As Cassie presses play, her entire life changes. In the end, she’s left wondering which of her parents are worthy of forgiveness.
In my eyes, my father could do no wrong. He was everything I needed him to be and more. He was a businessman who was always traveling, but he ensured that he made enough time for me.
“You’re my little girl, Cassie,” he would say, bopping my nose with his index finger. “You’re the most special.”
My parents always went out of their way for me — ensuring that despite their busy schedules, we would have family dinner almost every night.
It was the one thing that kept me grounded while both of my friends from school were in the middle of their parents’ messy divorces.
“I think it’s trendy now,” I told my mother as she cut slices of banana bread for me after school one day.
“Cas, you cannot think that divorce is trendy,” she laughed. “It’s devastating and traumatic, and very few families actually keep things civil.”
“I’m just saying that it’s trendy because a lot of kids live between two homes,” I explained to her. “It’s one of those things we were talking about in class today.”
I was fourteen, and the world seemed more dramatic than it should have been.
But what I didn’t know was that my words seemed to be an incantation that settled over our home.
A few weeks after that conversation, my father went away on a business trip. A few hours after he had been gone, there was news of his passing.
“How?” I asked. “How did he die?”
“I don’t know what to tell you, Cassie,” she replied. “I’m just saying what the paramedics told me.”
“So what will we do next?” I asked.
“What do you mean?” she asked, puzzled by the question.
“For the funeral?” I asked. “Aren’t we going to have one?”
“I don’t think so,” my mother replied. “Dad wanted to be cremated and have his ashes spread at the beach. Let’s do that instead.”
I couldn’t fathom why my mother would want to do that — but at the end of the day, she knew my father best. And the longer I thought about it, the more beautiful and sentimental a private ceremony at the beach felt.
“Don’t be difficult, Cassie,” my mother said when she saw me thinking about my next move.
“I’m not,” I said. “Really. I was just thinking about it. It’s a great idea, Mom.”
I could have fought her for a send-off that I thought would have been more appropriate. But what use would it have been? At the end of the day, we had both lost him.
The months following the beach ceremony felt weighted, and I knew that I was becoming deeply depressed — my father had been our world. And his absence was felt more than anything.
But, with time, I learned to live with it.
Last week, I decided to book a cabin in the woods for a little family vacation. My son was adamant that camping was the new best thing, and I knew that despite the wonders of nature, I wasn’t going to camp in a tent without a bathroom in sight.
Instead, I thought that a cabin would be the best option — my husband, Derek, could camp outside with Drew, our son, if he insisted on it.
We had a dog, therefore, I asked my mother to house-sit for the week so that we could be at peace, knowing that Romeo was taken care of.
A week away was more than enough to restore my mind — and eventually, when we went back home, I was surprised to see that my mother wasn’t there. In fact, it looked like she had never been there.
But there, on the coffee table, was a note beneath the TV remote.
Watch this, Cassie. I’m sorry. — Mom
I didn’t know what was in store for me, but while Derek got Drew into the bath, I put the TV on and began to watch whatever my mother had planned.
The TV flickered to life, and there he was, my father, his voice a long-lost melody, his image aged but still, unmistakably him.
Tears streamed down my face as the realization that he was still alive enveloped me in a mix of joy and disbelief.
The video message was nothing short of unpredictable.
My dear Cassie, I’m still here, alive. I’m so sorry for the pain that you must have felt from my loss. But it was needed. I needed to be removed from your life because of the sordid truth of my past. Your mother knows everything, please ask her for the truth.
My health is on a steady decline, and I would love to see you and explain it all.
Love you, Dad.
Without telling Derek or Drew anything, I grabbed the car keys and ran out. I needed my mother to explain.
“So, I bet you’ve got questions for me,” she said, opening the door.
“Explain it all,” I said.
“Cassie, it’s heavy. You look tired from your trip; are you sure you want to do this now?” she asked.
I nodded. It was now or never. I needed to know why my father faked his own death to get out of our lives.
My mother made us some tea and took out some shortbread.
“Darling,” she said. “I’ll understand if you don’t forgive me, but there’s so much about that time that I need to tell you.”
I sipped my tea, trying to figure out what my mother was about to tell me.
“I remember that you were telling me about your friend’s parents getting divorced. Do you remember that?” she asked.
I nodded. Of course, I did. It was the strangest thing, but it was so common when I was in school.
“Well, your father and I were not legally married. So when I told him about our conversation regarding divorce, he was actually relieved. Without being married, there would be no divorce.”
“What’s the big deal?” I asked.
“Then I found out that the real reason that we didn’t get married was because your father was already married to another woman.”
“What?” I exclaimed, almost dropping my cup. “To who?”
“To a woman in the town where he always had his business trips.”
“You didn’t know?” I asked, unable to believe her words.
“Of course not!” she exclaimed. “But when I pressed him about it, he decided to choose that family over us. So, I told him that the story was going to be his death.”
We were both silent for a moment.
Turns out that my mother told him that she would never tell me the truth, not when he was my favorite person. She couldn’t burst my bubble in that way. And she refused to let him see me one more time.
“It was better for you to think that it was an accident,” my mother said. “It just made more sense.”
Now, I understood why we didn’t have a funeral for him.
“What did we throw into the sea, then?” I asked.
“Dust,” she replied with a straight face.
My mother had spoken to him twice over the years. The second time being a day ago.
During their meeting, my father confessed his imminent death due to illness and requested that she give me the recording. My mother, torn by guilt and love, chose to write me the note and have the recording all set for me to watch.
“I would have taken the secret to my grave,” she said. “But knowing that he was ill and wanted to see you just struck something in me.”
Compelled by a need to confront the reality of my father’s existence, I traveled to the state where he lived with his other family.
I spent a few weeks with my father — going in and out of hospitals, watching him take an array of different medication, and growing weaker by the day.
Sitting at his bedside, I listened to his stories, the regrets, the moments of joy, and the love he had for all his children — myself included.
When things started to go downhill, I asked Derek to fly over with Drew. It was going to be a fleeting moment, but at least I’d know that my son had met my father.
A few days later, my father died.
Even now, I don’t know if I’ve forgiven him for the lie of having a double life. I just know that when it came to it in the end — I wanted to spend time with him. I had shoved my feelings aside, hoping for memories that I could figure out later.
But now that the dust has settled, I’m trying to figure out if I should forgive my mother for lying.
What would you do?
Remember Meggie Cleary from ‘The Thorn Birds’? — this is her today, age 65
It wasn’t certain that Rachel Ward was going to get the role of her lifetime, as she starred as Meggie Cleary in the classic mini-series The Thorn Birds.
The British actress and model has had a long and varying career, spanning decades. Now, she’s settled in Australia with her husband, whom she fell in love with on set.
So what really happened on The Thorn Birds? And why did the mini-series become such a huge success?
This is Rachel Ward today, at 65.
If you were to debate which television series is the best of all time, you’d probably get a different answer from every person you talk to. Firstly, there are so many different kinds of series, and of course, we all like different things.
But usually, the most popular television series are those that aired for many years, broadcast on television with several seasons and many strong and independent characters.
Bonanza, Little House on the Prairie, Friends, Sopranos or Twin Peaks. The answer to which one reigns supreme will probably never be decided, and to be honest, that is also one of the most fantastic things about television.
The Thorn Birds
There will always be a series that sticks closer to the heart than others.
Even though we have more established series that last for years, there are several examples of miniseries that weren’t meant to stick around long, but still reached cult status.
One of those was The Thorn Birds, starring Richard Chamberlain, Rachel Ward, and Bryan Brown.
It was first broadcast in March 1983, and over 30 million people in the US watched the ten-hour miniseries, based on Colleen McCullough’s 1977 Australian novel The Thorn Birds.
The mini-series gained huge interest and was praised by both the audience and critics, winning several awards, both for its story as well as the actors’ performances.
Rachel Ward
Ten hours long and spread over five nights, The Thorn Birds is still to this day considered a classic that will live on for many years to come.
Rachel Ward starred as Meggie Cleary in The Thorn Birds, but at the time, it was pretty much a surprise when she got it. It turned out that the producers had difficulties in finding the perfect person for the role, but in the end, Ward was the perfect choice.
Not only did Ward get her big breakthrough by starring in the television mini-series, she also found the love of her life on set.
This is the story of Ward – and how she travelled the world to keep her passion for films and television series alive.
Rachel Ward – early life
Born on September 12, 1957, in Cornwell, Oxfordshire, England, Ward studied at the Hatherop Castle School in Hatherop before attending the Byam Shaw School of Art in London. However, at just 16 years of age, she left school to pursue a career in fashion.
Ward became a fashion and photography model, appearing on covers for Vogue, Cosmopolitan, as well as Harper’s & Queen. She slowly made her way into the acting scene after she was featured in several commercials.
Years later, in 1995, she would earn her Graduate Diploma of Communications and a Graduate Certificate in Writing from University of Technology, Sydney, Australia.
In 1979, Rachel Ward appeared in her first television movie, Christmas Lilies of the Field. In the years that followed she would have a number of smaller roles, but in 1983, she would become a well-known actress all over the US.
Casting ‘The Thorn Birds’
Stan Marguiles was one of the producers on The Thorn Birds. But casting the right people to appear in the show wasn’t the easiest task.
In 1982, he explained the difficulty.
However, when they saw Rachel Ward, they were sure that they’d found the right one for the role of Meggie Cleary.
“She has to go from 18 to her early 50s. From a rather naïve, overly romantic young girl to a bitter woman in her 30s, to a woman who finally understands where she took the wrong turn when she reaches her 50s. There’s an enormous range of emotions and colors,” he said.
“They first started to age me, it was kind of scary,” Ward recalled. “I had these endless double chins. I sort of had a body suit underneath the clothes, I remember liking it when I grew older, I liked the outfits, there was slightly more masculine than they were in the beginning.”
Over 200 women were considered for the role of Meggie Cleary, and a total of 40 actresses auditioned.
Speaking with the National Film and Sound Archive of Australia, Ward recalled her audition.
“My audition was quite light and I had a sense of humor” she said. “I remember I was taking it seriously but I wasn’t acting with a capital A. It is so subjective, performances pieces, and I was probably spot on the first time. I got like 10/10 for looks and 4/10 for acting.”
Golden Globe nominated
They sent Ward to work with an acting coach, and it was a great match. Starring alongside Richard Chamberlain as Father Ralph, Ward became a beloved actress, praised by viewers as well as critics.
In 1982, she was nominated for a Golden Globe Award for Best Performance by an Actress in a Miniseries or Motion Picture Made for Television.
Chamberlain received a Golden Globe Award for Best Performance by an Actor in a Miniseries or Motion Picture Made for Television. The show itself won four Golden Globes, including Best Miniseries, as well as six Emmy awards.
“It was the absolute top of the heat of a soap opera,” Chamberlain said. “I am often surprised when I think about how it remains so successful, because there was one tragedy after another, after another, after another. Nobody came out on top of that show. It was so sad but had such wonderful characters”
Rachel Ward: “Felt terribly”
Ward wasn’t an actress that crafted her skills through school, but rather she learned as time went by. As the show aired, she saw herself as the weaker link. She suffered from insecurity for years after she received some negative reviews (The New York Times said she was “miscast”).
“I felt terribly like I’d disappointed,” she told Closer. “I felt that despite me it was a success.”
However, years later, her grown daughter watched The Thorn Birds, and told her mother, “‘Mom, you were fabulous,’” Ward recalled. “That was, for me, the most important response that I could’ve ever had.”
”It was soap opera. I think of it differently now,” Ward said. “Acting styles have changed and mine was always quite natural. And I think they tried to make me something that I wasn’t naturally. So that’s the excuse that I’ve made for myself.”
Her performance in the 1983 miniseries The Thorn Birds was of course a very important step for Ward, career wise. However, the production of the show became much more important for her, since she met the love of her life.
Rachel Ward and Bryan Brown
During her work on The Thorn Birds, Rachel Ward and Chamberlain’s characters Meggie and Father Ralph had great passion between them, which kept the viewers coming back.
Chamberlain recalled that it was difficult filming specific scenes.
“There’s a microphone hidden in the armpit… and you’re trying not to smear her lipstick,” he told Closer.
Even though Ward and Chamberlain were in love on camera, the great love story was actually when the cameras were turned off.
Bryan Brown starred as Meggie’s husband Luke O’Neill, and while shooting, they fell in love.
“What happened on screen was happening off it – that’s why our love scenes were so believable,” Ward told the UK’s Daily Express.
“Everyone on set realized they were falling for each other. “I’ve never seen two people more in love,” Chamberlain said, adding that Brown even helped Ward calm her nerves before shooting. “She seemed to get happier and happier and her work got better and better.”
Married months later
Ward and Brown obviously had “sexual chemistry” on set. She really fancied him, however, when asked who made the first move, she made sure to throw her beloved husband under the bus.
‘He as slow as a wet week. Really took forever. I think I probably did,’ she said.
Brown, however, insisted that he was just being a “cunning Aussie bloke” not approaching her at once.”
“And before they know it, they’re hooked!” the legendary actor joked.
Rachel Ward and Brown got married months after the filming of The Thorn Birds wrapped.
The couple went on to have three children, Rose, Matilda and Joseph.
So what happened to Ward following The Thorn Birds?
She and Brown moved to Australia, where Ward starred in several films and television series.
Rachel Ward – this is her today
In 2001, she was nominated for a Golden Globe for Best Performance by an Actress in a Miniseries or Motion Picture Made for Television following her performance in the film On the Beach.
Her other credits include The Big House, Martha’s New Coat and television series Rake, Devil’s Playground and The Straits.
Ward also went into producing and directing,
Besides being an actress, wife, mother, and now grandmother, Ward also made sure to contribute to society.
Therefore, in 2005, she was awarded the A.M (Member of the Order of Australia for “raising awareness of social justice through lobbying, mentoring and advocacy for the rights of disadvantaged and at-risk young people.”
Work with daughter Matilda
Both Matilda’s parents were present when she gave birth, which was truly special for her.
“When I was pushing Zan out at the end, dad was stroking my head and mum was cheering me on, crying, saying, ‘Come on, Till! He’s so close,’” Matilda said. “It was pretty special that both my parents got to be with me through such a monumental time in my life.”
Just days ago, Ward got to see her newborn granddaughter, which she shared on her Instagram.
And on another note, isn’t Matilda just the spitting image of her mother!
Ward and her daughter Matilda both chose acting as their job.
However, when Matilda first said she wanted to become an actress, her mother wasn’t that excited.
Spitting image of her mother
“Mum definitely said ‘don’t be an actress,’” Matilda recalled. “She encouraged me to go to film school and get behind the camera, which I did and I’m very glad I did.”
In 2016, they teamed up in the film The Death and Life of Otto Bloom. Rachel and Matilda play the same character at different stages of her life
“We look alike so obviously there’s a great bonus in that we share physical similarities and mannerisms,” Rachel Ward said. “Plus, as we know, women over the age of 40 are basically invisible in the media and in film … It’s a treat when something comes along where it’s ok to be in your 50s.”
Rachel Ward was wonderful as Meggie Cleary in The Thorn Birds, and we’re so happy to see that she still is as passionate today.
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