I take it that everyone of us must navigate our own lives and take responsibility for our decisions? However, it is in our nature as humans to want to help friends who are actually in need. However, what would you do if your friend—the one you always stand by—started confiding in you about all of their issues, repeatedly, and with no sign of stopping? This Reddit member is exactly in that predicament. She wondered if she was managing the matter with her buddy correctly, so she looked to the large internet community for advice.
I(32F) am a single mother of two kids (6M and 5m F). I am a single mother by choice (my kids are donor conceived).
I am lucky enough to have a good job (French teacher in a private school), and a paid off house (parents’ life insurance and inheritance).
Before I had either of my kids, I made sure to have a year’s living expenses saved, then I would take a sabbatical to recover from birth, as well as bond with my kids. While on sabbatical, I still tutor some kids for some extra income.
My friend (34F), just had a baby 2 months ago. She is the breadwinner in her household, and her husband has been unemployed since he was laid off during COVID.
It was great to be pregnant at the same time, as well as having a friend with a newborn. But it has turned sour.
She has been saying how jealous she is of me being able to take off a whole year from work, how she would have loved to not worry about losing their home, how she doesn’t even have a couple hundred dollars in her savings account, let alone a whole year’s worth of living expenses….
I usually ignore it, or brush it off, because I kind of can understand the stress she is under.
Well, starting about 10 days ago, she started hinting at not being able to afford daycare, and any mention of her husband taking care of their kid is brushed off. Then she started remarking on how much free time I must have, which I deflected by saying -truthfully- that being a single mom to a baby and a small kid left me no free time actually.
Then last night she came out with it, and asked if I could “do her a favor” and watch her kid while she’s at work. I was firm, but polite, when I said that I couldn’t, that I am not capable of watching two kids under 6 months.
She started almost begging me, saying she can’t afford daycare, and if she is not back at work, she will lose her job, and they will end up homeless. I again brought up her husband, and she said that he was not good with kids, and isn’t capable of taking care of her kid.
I kept saying no, she kept pushing, until it escalated to her calling me heartless, and me telling her that it’s not my problem she chose to have a kid with a useless man.
Now she blocked me, I am feeling very guilty about what I said, and feeling like an AH.
I Was Heartbroken When I Accidentally Found Out Why My Husband Stopped Inviting Me to Dinners With His Friends
Mandy and Jack appeared to have the ideal marriage—carefree and childless. Along with many social interactions, they went on adventures together with Jack’s childhood pals. But that was three months ago. Jack began apologising for not include Mandy in activities, saying they were “just for the guys.”
Even though Mandy at first agreed with his logic, a fortuitous meeting with Jack’s buddy Kevin’s wife Marcia exposed a startling untruth. Marcia had learned from Jack that Mandy was undergoing IVF treatments. Confused, Mandy made the decision to look into it more.
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Mandy discovered at home an invitation to a dinner party that Jack had failed to disclose. She sent out a double RSVP, ready to face whatever Jack was concealing. She took Jack by surprise the night of the dinner, showing him where it was without giving it away. As they got there and encountered their friends’ uncomfortable quiet, his uncertainty escalated to shock. Jack kept this information secret since Sasha, his ex-girlfriend, recently got married to one of his best buddies.
Sasha was often talking about Jack at dinner, which made things tense. Mandy started to suspect an affair as her mind raced. Mandy knew all too well that Sasha had insisted on Mandy’s absence from the activities because of past pettiness, as Jack revealed on the trip home. While acknowledging his mistake in concealing Sasha’s involvement, Jack insisted he had no romantic relationship with her.
Jack apologized once more while making tea at home. He was subsequently approached by Mandy over the IVF hoax. Jack shyly said that he had made it up in response to peer pressure because he didn’t want to have to justify their childless lifestyle. They both agreed that it was ridiculous, reaffirmed their choice to not have children, and made plans to improve their communication going forward. Their love for one another endured in the face of chaos.
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