Fearing for their children’s futures, parents search for universal parenting techniques that will put their kids on the route to a prosperous job and a happy life. But times are changing, and the old principles of success are no longer relevant. Sometimes, parents’ actions, intended to be helpful, can actually create challenges for their children’s future.
1. Not allowing their kid to fail
Perfectionist parent often strives for perfection themselves, leading them to expect increasing levels of perfection from their child as they grow older — from the child’s artwork never being good enough to their bed not being made perfectly or not studying hard enough. The child faces constant criticism and reprimands but is never allowed to learn from their mistakes. Children of perfectionist parents may grow up to be perfectionists themselves or develop low self-esteem and lack confidence. Both outcomes can negatively impact their future careers.
- Anna’s mother always compared her to Mary, saying, “Look how tidy Mary is compared to you, Anna!” Despite Anna’s efforts to emulate Mary, she never measured up, and her mother’s criticism only intensified. Anna’s mother never allowed her the chance to improve her habits and learn basic skills. Now at 25 years old, Anna still compares herself to others and always comes up short in her own eyes. Needless to say, this constant comparison has taken a toll on her self-esteem.
2. Paying a child for good grades
This topic remains a subject of debate, but consider this perspective: imagine yourself as a contractor continually paying more for a product or service, with the child as the supplier providing it in exchange for money or rewards. It doesn’t sound like a good idea, does it?
- Alexandra’s parents sought to motivate their daughter to excel in her studies by offering money as an incentive. Initially, Alexandra’s grades improved, suggesting the approach was effective. However, her parents later discovered that she had been fabricating stories about an imaginary illness and sharing them with her teachers. She even falsely claimed that her parents constantly criticized her for poor grades. The sympathetic teacher then raised Alexandra’s grades out of pity. Following this incident, Alexandra’s parents discontinued the practice of paying for grades and sought guidance from a child psychologist.
3. Preventing their child from expressing their feelings
Sometimes, adults dismiss a child’s feelings as wrong — insisting that bruises don’t hurt, feeling anger toward a child who hit them is shameful, or being sad even with a valid reason is incorrect. Parents often do this with good intentions, wanting to teach their children proper behavior. However, it’s crucial to recognize that a fundamental skill for modern individuals is the ability to acknowledge and manage their feelings, emotions, and needs.
- Kate, now 37, vividly remembers how her mother forced her to give away her beloved doll to another girl, admonishing her for being “greedy” and scolding her for getting upset over a “stupid toy.” Kate never got her doll back. Over the years, she has worked hard to assert herself, learning to say “no” to demanding people, including her boss and coworkers. Despite this, Kate often feels guilty whenever she refuses to comply with their requests.
4. Failing to support their child in front of strangers
Every child needs the assurance that their parents will stand up for them in any conflict, regardless of the situation, and won’t blindly trust the words of authority figures like teachers, principals, or neighbors. When parents allow their children to speak up for themselves when they are ready to take responsibility for their actions, it helps them develop healthy self-esteem and a sense of personal accountability.
- Maggy was raised by her grandmother, who often said, “But what will other people think?” Although her grandmother loved Maggy and wanted the best for her, she constantly emphasized the importance of public opinion. As a result, Maggy struggles to make her own decisions and even relies on her friends’ opinions when choosing something as simple as dessert.
5. Drawing inspiration and comparing to successful people
Each generation has its own set of heroes whom young people aspire to emulate. In recent decades, the tales of personal success from wealthy and influential individuals have become widespread. However, it’s not as simple as learning their life story and achieving happiness. If it were that easy, everyone who reads their books would have solved all their financial problems by now.
- Alex developed a passion for computers from a young age. Inspired by the story of Steve Jobs that his dad shared with him, Alex immersed himself in learning everything about Apple. When it came time to choose a university, Alex initially believed he didn’t need higher education because Steve Jobs succeeded without it. Eventually, Alex realized the importance of education for his path and pursued college to advance his career. Now, Alex jokes, “What worked for Steve Jobs is just a waste of time for an ordinary guy like me.”
6. Pressuring their child to decide on their future career
The notion that a person should stick to one career for their entire life is likely outdated and impractical. Many modern occupations didn’t exist a decade ago, while others have already become obsolete.
- Since childhood, Max had a passion for exploring computers and understanding various software programs. Despite his parents’ concerns, he pursued this interest and eventually discovered online courses in software testing. Now, he is thriving in this field, leveraging his potential and skills.
- Laura, at 37, worked as a sociologist for a major consulting firm but found it challenging to maintain her career after having her son. During maternity leave, she rediscovered her love for photography. Starting with unique photos of her child, Laura progressed to offering photoshoots for friends’ and acquaintances’ kids. Over time, she opened her photo studio. Laura now earns as much as her husband and successfully manages her professional life while caring for her family. This shift exemplifies the evolving nature of careers and the importance of embracing new opportunities.
7. Arguing about money
Since children may absorb long-lasting messages from these circumstances, it’s crucial to avoid arguing about money or other matters in front of them. Instead of one-on-one conflicts, which can cause youngsters to take sides and become distressed, talks should be led in a way that promotes involvement.
- Chris grew up witnessing his parents argue about money. When he went to college at 17 and moved away, he struggled with managing his finances and spending on unnecessary items. He now fears starting relationships, believing that money is the root cause of his sadness.
8. Prohibiting the child from using social networks
Social networks have become today’s equivalent of the yards and neighborhoods where we used to play as children. Kids can learn valuable skills through computer programs integrated with social media platforms. While parents should remind their kids about online safety rules, depriving children of this experience can be harsh.
- Aria’s mother was surprised to discover that her 10-year-old daughter had learned to create cool videos. Even more surprising was the realization that Aria had learned this skill from using TikTok. Now, creating short videos has become a family hobby for them.
9. Teaching the kid that they have the stuff at home
Many of us recall times when we asked our parents to buy us things, only to hear, “We already have that at home; we don’t need it.” Some parents repeatedly expose their children to such situations, unintentionally discouraging them from getting what they truly need. This pattern can significantly impact their financial habits as adults. On the other hand, constantly satisfying a child’s every need can also have negative effects.
- Jan’s mother often tells him they have things at home and they don’t buy them from the store. Jan has learned to overlook his needs, and with each subsequent request, he withdraws more, knowing not to ask. When Jan grows up and earns his income, money will go towards trivial things because that’s how he’s learned to live.
10. Preventing children from getting into conflicts
The ability to engage with others is perhaps one of the most crucial professional skills one can possess. It’s important not only to help children make friends but also to teach them how to engage in healthy arguments. People often hold differing opinions, and there are various ways to express emotions. The sooner children grasp this concept, the easier their interactions with others will be, including in professional settings.
- Michaela spent her life avoiding conflicts, preferring to agree with others rather than engage in disputes. She believed that someone always had to be the “smarter” one, but this approach proved more harmful than beneficial. One day, Michaela learned about active listening and decided to apply this approach in her professional life. She excelled at paying attention to others’ perspectives while also expressing her feelings when others attempted to take advantage of her. Initially, people found her communication style unconventional, but conflicts with coworkers became more constructive, leading to mutually beneficial resolutions.
11. Helping their child learn to save money
The world is always changing, and old ways of making or saving money might not work anymore. We can’t predict what skills will be valuable in the future economy. That’s why it’s important to teach kids to be flexible and ready for change, not just to save money.
- Emily’s grandfather saved money his whole life “just in case.” But when that “case” finally happened, a financial meltdown made all his investments lose value. Emily saw this while growing up, and now she’s worried the economy could collapse at any time. She believes the best investment is in her skills and knowledge.
12. Trying to build a strong character with the help of sports
While there’s a widespread belief that sports are beneficial for discipline and character development, excessive competitiveness in professional sports can be detrimental to a child’s physical and mental health. This competitiveness can be fueled by both fellow young athletes and coaches. Only a few individuals become champions, and coaches often prioritize these select few, neglecting the rest of the team. Coping with this unfair treatment at a young age can lead to low self-esteem and confusion about alternative life paths if a child must stop playing sports.
- Tom’s mother pursued rhythmic gymnastics as a child but had to abandon her Olympic dreams due to a leg injury. When Tom was three, his mother enrolled him in gymnastics classes, hoping he would excel. However, Tom struggled in this sport, leading him to lose interest in school, feel like a failure, and struggle to identify his strengths. Now, Tom is studying to become a child psychologist to help parents navigate the challenges of raising children without making the same mistakes.
Being protective of your children is natural, but it’s important to set boundaries. Respecting their privacy is crucial for a healthy parent-child relationship and their personal development. Violating their privacy can have serious negative effects, especially on their mental health.
Users stunned by Pamela Anderson’s rustic home that was once her granny’s
Celebrity Canadian-born Pamela Anderson, who over the past ten years has gone from glam to charmingly ordinary, gave fans a glimpse into her newly constructed rustic home, which is a reflection of her love of the great outdoors.
Currently in her late 50s, the Baywatch sex icon—who was previously well-known for her exploits with her rock star ex-husband—enjoys the rustic beauty of Western Canada on the property that her grandparents formerly owned.
Following her return to “her safe place,” fans are ecstatic to see the once-wild woman “living simply,” but they are shocked to learn the modest diva does her own laundry.
Continue reading to learn more about the stunning Pam Anderson in her natural environment!
After years of leading a busy lifestyle, Pamela Anderson, the star of the popular television show Baywatch, recently underwent a major makeover and redefined herself as a natural beauty.
In 2023, Anderson, 56, disproved the long-held reputation of her as a sex symbol by attending Paris Fashion Week sans makeup.
The stunning model and actor looked stunning on the red carpet in an all-white ensemble that had wide-leg leggings, a cream-colored blazer draped over her shoulders, and a loose-fitting blouse. The outfit was finished with tiny silver stud earrings, and her hair was pulled back into a short ponytail to highlight her inherent beauty.
Anderson claims in an interview with Allure that her appearance was a fiction about who she truly is.
If my name is taken out of context, it can convey a negative impression. I like to refer to these outfits I wore from Playboy to Baywatch as my “Halloween costumes.” I just feel like it’s alright now that I’ve found my place of self-acceptance and self-love. “What I’m into today is an intentional choice,” says Anderson.
But there were several changes to her appearance.
Canadian female
After being married to rock icons Tommy Lee, Kid Rock, and the drummer for Mötley Crüe in the past, Anderson moved back to her home country of Canada a few years ago from the hustle and bustle of Hollywood.
While there, Anderson—a vegan and PETA representative—renovated the charming seaside cottage on Vancouver Island that she had purchased from her grandparents more than thirty years before.
“It celebrates the magic of scenic settings where nature always has a proud seat at the table,” writes Anderson on Instagram.
This six-acre property, which sits on the strait separating the island from the mainland of British Columbia, is where she spent her formative years.
One of the nine wooden huts her grandpa had constructed on the land many years ago belonged to her parents; the other eight had been demolished.
“The Little Mermaid Castle”
Anderson, who portrayed the Tool Time Girl in the sitcom Home Improvement in the 1990s, had high standards for the rustic and “sexy” repairs she wanted to make to her own home: “I’m craving something wild, sensual, and insane! I am a mermaid, and here is my mermaid castle.
The property has undergone a “cheap and cheerful makeover,” resulting in sweeping gardens and a barn, which are indicative of her love of the great outdoors and carefree attitude.
With a pavilion added on the old pier, the actor was able to dine al fresco while taking in views of the shimmering lake. Today, the boathouse serves as a lakefront home.
“Laundry is life.”
While renovations were being done, Anderson moved into The Roadhouse, a former little shop used by guests staying in the vacation cabins.
The woman, who says that doing laundry is her “happy place” and “life,” was made to choose setting up a laundry room over continuing her “self-care ritual.”
Anderson declares, “It has to be done, might as well make it fun,” in an Instagram promotional video. I see it as an opportunity to sort of withdraw and take some alone time. It is reflective.
Fans had a lot to say after Anderson revealed their true feelings: “I thought I was the only one who enjoyed to wash laundry! Hanging the sheets on the line is heaven on a bright sunny day when you hop in bed!
In reaction to the video of her looking almost angelic in all white, another writes: “She is one of the very few women who makes me feel at peace while perusing social media.I love her fashion sense.
“A sweet spirit”
Based on comments posted on her social media sites, it appears that fans love her even more now than they did when she debuted on television almost 35 years ago.
“At fifty-three, I still feel like the woman we all wanted me to be at twenty-five.” “GORGEOUS soul,” a fan declares.
“You’re quite beautiful! “I admire you for bringing your innate beauty and self-love to the mainstream and showcasing them,” adds another.
A third remarks about Anderson’s property and says, “Good for her.” Right there, with granny. Is there love for you to experience?
Another remarks, “Beautiful…She deserves to be happy in every way.She went back home to her safe sanctuary.
What are your opinions on Pamela Anderson’s life makeover? Please share this article with others and let us know what you think so we can hear from them too!
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